yourehidingfrommenow:

domdean:

cuntakinte:

I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking slut

I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking virgin

you will never know which of these two statements reign true for people who reblogs this and that bothers me

(via darkenzo44)

565,595 notes

rnikan:

SO AT WORK TODAY I WALKED IN AND MY MANAGER WAS ON THE GROUND CRYING AND I WAS LIKE KIM WHAT’S WRONG AND SHE POINTS TO THE ORDER SCREEN AND IT SAYS WE NEED TO MAKE 2000 PIZZAS BY 6 PM SO I CALLED THE GUY AND HE WAS LIKE “I MEANT TO ORDER 20 PIZZAS OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY I’M ON MOBILE” AND I’VE NEVER LAUGHED THAT HARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

(Source: soulgems, via dontbeanassbutt)

431,686 notes

hipster-trichster:

brbjellyfishing:

fun prank: wake up during open heart surgery and sing don’t go breakin’ my heart to the surgeon

i couldn’t if i tried.

(via darkenzo44)

391,643 notes

sophmoreslump:

fall out boy swore in a song once and it turned me into an authority hating criminal

(via sinnersnevertakeoffyourcolours)

3,764 notes

lindsaylohoean:

when parents make sex jokes around you thinking you don’t get itimage

(via sinnersnevertakeoffyourcolours)

234,959 notes